Is this the best way to start off my newest blog? Too late now. I already thought it. I work with some freaking beasts of meatheads. Seriously, they have the muscles, the swagger*, and the tiny little brain capacities. I am fairly certain that I just wrote the definition of meat head. If not, then someone please contact Websters! I am sure I am correct. Here is another really excellent definition of meathead: http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=meathead
More stories of the follies of meatheaddom will follow in this blog. How could they not? I am surrounded by the insignificant, yet cocky, tiny brained, and teeny tiny peniled freaks. I wish I had x-ray vision. I swear I would not abuse it, but merely test out my theory on how tiny these men really are. Seriously, I bet all of their organs are smaller than normal. Large muscles shrink internal (and external) organs. It’s a scientific fact that I just made up.
On another note, I should not be given x-ray vision. I would abuse it. I think the more I think about it X-ray vision frightens me. There are far too many things I would not want to see. Actually- scratch that again- x-ray vision would be a great diet plan. I wouldn’t ever be able to eat again.
Oh and welcome to my blog. There is no point to this blog. Well maybe if you think that reading my unmom like thoughts is meaningful. If that is the case, I am glad that I can be such an important part of your life. If that is not the case, it’s ok too. I’m pretty sure that my happenings are making me dumber on a daily basis. I blame other people. People are mostly dumb, but amusing. Amusing little dummies. I suppose I should blame the government so as to fit in. F you Cuomo. Just kidding Andy. I have no problem with you. I’m too busy mocking muffin tops in my head, and then feeling guilty because I have a muffin top too.
On further note, I heard one of the meatheads say the word hashtag before he said something today. It went like this, “we are supposed to count how many boards are over there, hashtag I don’t care”. At this time, I mumbled under my breath, Hashtag tiny-man-parts, hashtag meatheads.
*swagger is defined by myself as the way a person walks. Typically this walk involves a puffed up chest, flared out arms (so as to see the muscles), and a slow and meticulous sway. There is nothing attractive about this walk. It is more like a rooster, and roosters eat their own poop. Therefore the new definition of swagger has more to do with men who walk funny and eat shizz. This makes sense because I said so.