The Musings of a 9 Year Old

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My daughter, the bright star of an otherwise ordinary existence, can be a spacey valley girl, and a speculative thinker all in one breath.  My one desire in her life is to raise her to be a human.  A human who takes her time to make big decisions, loves endlessly, and dreams without ceasing.  All too often we accidentally raise impatient consumers, full of greed, lust, and selfishness.  My deep desire is to combat that in my little human’s lives; it is then that they may live merrily.

As I sat down at the table while my little human painted a picture, she leaned over and whispered to me, “mom, sometimes I feel like this life is unreal.  Like is all just a dream– good, bad, happy, sad– just a dream”.  Upon further elaboration, this is a happy thought to her.  She sees life as an adventure, a giant picture that she can keep painting, and though you cannot always control dreams, you can keep dreaming.  

I believe that she understands that reality exists, and with it comes hardships, pain, joy, and laughter.  She loves with every fiber of her very being.  Her kindness, and maturity often shock me, but she has been through so much in her 9 years of existence.  

But to see life as a dream… that is beautiful.  With this she knows that things will change, and sometimes we just need to ride out that part of the adventure to get to the next.  There are three things I often tell my children, and I will tell them until the day I die:  We often have to take the bad to receive the good, we do what is right because it is right (credit to Joyce Delp), and to please never stop dreaming.  

My little human is taking off!  I love to have beautiful conversations about her elegant thoughts with her.  She reminds me of the amazing adventure that being a mother really is.  

Hey Young Blood, doesn’t it feel like our time is running out…

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I have been spending an exorbitant amount of time thinking about… well just that– thinking about time. Inspired by a conversation on Saturday that left my brain in subject meditation mode, time which can be viewed as so very limited, as well as limitless, can also own us, or we can own it.  I think that is a continual battle.  Do we own our time, or does our time own us?  For me, the answer to that changes by the moment. 

And then there was the song.  “Hey young blood, doesn’t it feel like our time is running out”.  

The flow of my thoughts continue to develop around this phrase.  Yes, it does feel like time is running out.  The question is, what is it running out of?  What will I miss?  What am I up against?  It was never my intention to live a mundane life.  I want to forever be growing, learning, developing, and living a life rich in counterculture experiences, and awaking moments.  

At risk of being cliche, I have a chance to live a life full of adventure. Adventure can be had anywhere, and at any time.  I suppose I must define adventure for myself. Adventure by definition is, an unusual and exciting experience or activity.  Isn’t learning, growing, reading, hiking, listening to music, watching movies, meeting new people, and engaging in new experiences adventurous?  I think it is all a matter of the mind, and a matter of perspective.  Anything that enriches me, appeals to my senses, or affects me is, in a sense, an adventure to me.  

This is all just mental vomit.. 

But time… Is it running out?  It pains me to think of it like it.  I am battling myself to see it from a new perspective.   My entire life had a reset one year ago.  I have, begrudgingly, began again.  Should I hate this fresh start so deeply?  Probably not.  It is my chance to make my focus the excitement, and experiences that life has in store for me.  I am wiser this time.  Definitely not wealthier, but where money took me last time is not a place I ever want to go again.  Continuing on my cliche (but honest) path, I want to feel like even the smallest things I do are an adventure until the day I die.  Maybe those small things will develop into large things, and I will live a life full of experience.  

But I guess that is where I am wrong again.

We all live a life full of experience exactly how we are now.  We just need to open our eyes. 

Time is running out, but does it have to?

Define time for yourself.  At least that is what  I need to do.

Also, why do we kill our heroes?  Why can’t I ever stay on subject? 

 

If the Zombie apocalypse…

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If the zombie apocalypse happens, don’t be a whore.  That’s probably the only relevant thing that could be said after the introductory phrase.

Why are people always talking about zombie apocalypses, and why do I always walk into those conversations?  Is there something that I do not know?  Have bath salts increased in usage?  Are they putting them in our fast food?

If the zombie apocalypse happens, I promise to give myself over to the zombies, and lead them to the homes of those that speak of preparing for said apocalypse like one might happen any day now.  “Don’t take our guns away because if you do the zombies will eat my family”!

It is my belief that fighting the apocalypse would only create more stress in my life.  The world would never rebound from such a thing anyway, so giving in seems appropriate.

Dang.  Now I am speaking of zombie apocalypses like one could really happen.

What is happening to the world!?!?!  Maybe the apocalypse has already happened…

Retraction: I was incorrect!

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Yesterday, in my blissful, and enamoring writing referencing my love of foul language, I mistakenly said that it is not acceptable for children to swear until the age of 16.

I WAS WRONG.

My sincerest of apologies.  The truth was graciously pointed out to me by a fellow foul language aficionado.  

Children should begin swearing at the age of 13.  Welcome to the real world little assholes/bitches.  

Thank you for showing me the error of my ways. 

#*&#*^#&$# I love to swear!

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Moment of truth:  I have a filthy mouth.  Obscene language brings me joy.  I enjoy expressively illustrating my thoughts through what I have termed, “artful language”.  Foul language?  No way!  Let’s not call it that anymore.

I have recently, and fully, developed a deep and unfortunate love for foul language.  I am a Christian.  I believe in the death, resurrection, and sanctity of Jesus.  There a few things that I greatly disagree with the church over.  The first of things being the spirit of hate that they allow to wave through their believers.  Jesus never preached hate.  He never preached bigotry.  He never told us to reject anyone that we feel is different.  My next blog will be on my thoughts of homosexuality, the church, and failed opportunity to love.  

My second disagreement is that swearing is a sin.  Jesus used “strong language” when he flipped the tables over at the temple.  Any words used to hurt someone else is a sin.  Saying fuck, or shit, or ass, or bitch, why are those sins?  I have also noticed since I moved back to New York from Indiana that swearing is far more acceptable and tolerated in the workplace, in church, and basically everywhere.  Hello liberation. STFU philistines.  

My third goes along with no drinking, gambling, dancing, etc.  Anything that separates you from God is a sin.  The aforementioned things, when done responsibly, and maturely, are not sins.  Get over yourself judgey people.  

FYI:  I always fully believe the crap I say, so basically I am right.  Although I am not afraid to admit when I am wrong.  I am a confusing person, but both of those statements are 100% true.  

Back to my delightful love of swear words….

There is a time and a place for their use, but when I have the opportunity to just relax and be me, my artistic linguistic expressions will fly.  Let them soar I say to myself. I do refrain from their usage in front of children.  It seems that their use is not widely accepted in people below 16.  I will respect the world’s policy on this front. 

Mostly I suck, and it is improper to be near me.  Good luck friends! Muahhhh ha ha haaaaa.  

 

I’m just narcissistic enough…

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I am just narcissistic enough to think that it is relevant to post things that annoy the living shizz out of me.  Seriously.  I am selfish.  Although this list is not all inclusive, it will suffice as a start.

Get ready.

1. Stickers on facebook.  They are cheesy.  They are annoying.  They are dumb.  I was the last person on earth to use emoticons, and I still cringe every time I use texting language (such as LOL).  To be completely transparent, I only put LOL whenever i can’t think of anything else to say.  Feel rejected when I use it.  REJECTS (LOL)!

 

2. People who post their feelings on facebook.  No one gives a shizz if you are feeling determined, undermined, annoyed, blissful or euphoric.  Actually, tons of people care.  Just not me.  Thanks facebook, your new crap is SUPER annoying.

3.  What movie you are watching– again, why this feature facebook?

I just learned that maybe I should stick to twitter only.

 

On further note:

4. Passive aggressive people. Say what you mean, mean what you say, and move one.  Your insecurities are yours.  Not mine.  Move forward! 

5.  Owl’s eyes.  They freak me out.

6.  Stubbing my toe.  Also, smashing my hip bones against countertops.

7.  Misuse of homonyms.  Just punch me in the face.  I feel like your misuse of homonyms do every single time.

8.  I find it extremely annoying that I cannot walk around punching people in the throat, and saying swear words.  What the crap. 

9.  Emails and pictures with cute animals.  I am a soulless woman.

10.  Christmas music. It’s so repetitive.  It instantly drives me over the cliff. 

11. Anyone else picking the music besides myself.  I have problems. 

12.  The Kardashian’s voices.  That should be #1.  There is no actual relevance to the order of this list.

13.  Commercials on youtube.  They can go (insert swear word) themselves.

14. People reading over my shoulder.  People watching me work over my shoulder.  People in general.

15.  People who complain or make comments about their weight, and do NOTHING about it.  

16.  Brown nosers/two faced coworkers.  

17.  paper cuts.  

18.  PDA.  Gagggggggggggggg

19.  People eating.  Or at least the sound of people eating.  Especially potato chips.  

20. Teenagers.